Sunday, July 30, 2006

VOTF/Cardinal O'Malley meeting agenda (8-4-006)

Yes, it's been reported that the agenda for the upcoming "Voice of the Faithful" meeting with Sean Cardinal O'Malley this Friday is not known.

Not so!

The lady in the pew has, through means of her own, found out what's going on. And so may I now present:

The Top Ten Items on the VOTF/Cardinal O'Malley Historic
(or hysteric)
August 4, 2006 Meeting Agenda!

# 10) Ceremonial greetings to all VOTF members working at the chancery

# 9) Close chancery since most employees will be at VOTF meeting anyway

# 8) Can we change the "protect us from the devil" phrase in the "Saint Michael" prayer to "protect us from Mel Gibson"?

# 7) Discuss name change from "Voice of the Faithful" to "Voices of the Thoughtful" to reflect diversity and inclusiveness

# 6) Should pedicures be added to the Holy Thursday foot-washing ceremonies?

# 5) Present alternative designs to Roman Collars that are more flattering to 50+ women necklines

# 4) Extol the benefits of replacing the name of "Abraham" as "our Father in Faith" in the Eucharistic prayer with the name: "Dan Brown"

# 3) Present intelligent reasons to replace "full of grace" in the "Hail Mary" to "filled with thoughtful questions"

# 2) Great replacement for Joaquin Navarro-Valls: James Carroll!


The Number One Item on the Agenda for the
VOTF/Cardinal O'Malley meeting is...

[drum roll]

# 1) "This Cardinal Ratzinger-turned-pope thing...that isn't written in stone, is it?"