A friend died last week. Then there was that wonderful Massachusetts affirmation of the Glory of the Rainbow Flag. I screwed up on a job and just to top it all off, I assisted in euthanizing (a polite word for killing) a great dog today. (I love you, Marcus.)
Did I tell you I sinned probably 18 times since my last confession (three days ago) and incidentally almost smashed a hapless pedestrian to smithereens on my frantic drive to the vet's office to do the dirty deed to the dog (who was pretty much on his way out anyway but still)?
"It's really always about you, isn't it, Kelly?"
Not really. It's about you, too. Don't you even try to tell me that you didn't have a few warts growing on your skin, so to speak, these past few days. Because I won't believe you.
And while I can't actually begin to comfort you, I can at least offer you some excellent (if I do say so myself) advice.
You say your voice sounds like a foghorn? No matter! Find a happy song (yeah I know this is enough sugar to make your teeth hurt but tough it out with me) and belt it out. If you live with other people who might find your behavior cause to call 911, hop in the shower.
(Everybody's allowed to sing in the shower. I think it's in the Constitution.)
Here. Try this. I've even added some stuff to give you a healthy dose of reality along with a much, much needed shot of fantasy.
Maestro? If you please....
Gray skies are gonna clear up (or maybe they won't but they just might)
Put on a happy face!
Wipe off the clouds and cheer up (what'll it hurt ya?)
Put on a happy face!
Take of that gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style (plus, it really ages you!)
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
You decided to smile (everybody likes to look good...even you.)
Pick out a pleasant outlook (forget for now the past and screw the future...look, for example, at a crucifix!)
Stick out that noble chin (do it looking in a mirror...it'll crack you up)
Wipe off that full of doubt look (while, for example, washing your face)
Snap on a happy grin (go on...do it!)
Spread sunshine all over the place (I can feel your warmth right now!)
Just put on a happy face!
(The world will thank you for it and if it doesn't, who cares? I will, and so will that Man on the Cross!)