Saturday, April 27, 2013

Indeed Femen ladies, God loves you. And so do I! Just look:

Dear Femen ladies,

I don't know about the painted words on your naked bodies...that would be "my body, my rules." Actually, I think not. To be honest, I know you're wrong.

I mean, my hand is part of my body, right? Right. So. According to your...uh...logic? I rule my hand. Which means I can toss a grenade into a bunch of innocent people. Or create a bomb to blow up, say, in Boston.

Or I can throw water at an innocent priest I happen to disagree with.

Wrong, Femens. We can't do that. Or, well, we can, but we must not. Why? Because it's wrong. (In my country—I know so little about Brussels, forgive me—it's actually against the law.

My voice is part of my body, too. Still, I may not—and hey, you might have a law against this in Brussels, too!—cry "FIRE" in a crowded building, when there is no fire.

Indeed, you and I can both paint our naked bodies with slogans, and if that turns you on, I pity you, but that's probably your right.

'Course, your slogans are, for the most part, really silly. "My body, my rules." No, we've already poked holes into that reasoning. "Stop homophobia." Honeys, the only "homophobia" I've encountered lately is a disease people contract when they're terrified of being labeled "homophobic."

One slogan does make sense though. "God loves lesbians." Indeed God does. So does Archbishop Leonard. So do I. That's part of our Creed, ladies. Get with the program, here!

[UPDATE, May 6: What I mean to say is "God loves SINNERS." He loves you. Just doesn't like what you do when you sin. Pardon the interruption and thanks for letting me clarify. Update your slogan, why dontcha?]

So. You probably think that people are going to malign you. I suspect you hope they do, so that you can, in your own rather odd way, come to think of yourselves as martyrs. Heroines for The Cause.

Only I'm not going to do that. You know what I've been doing since I've heard about this? I've been praying for you! It's something you can't stop me from doing, can't bully me into giving up, can't laugh me out of it, can't make me so mad that I'll short? You're helpless.

May God continue to bless you.

Link to story.