The Blessed Sacrament is NOT a liturgical hors d'oeuvre

For the umpteenth time today, I sadly watched a priest chase down a guy with the Sacred Host in his hands...a guy with evidently no intention of consuming the Sacrament at the altar. (Or, as he said to me later: "Why should I? I wanted to wait until I was in my pew! What difference does it make?")

It makes a LOT of difference.

Priests and other ministers of the Blessed Sacrament are...well, they're blessed. But these days? They're also -- and I suspect unwillingly -- given the job of being Guardians of the Blessed Sacrament from Those Who Are Really, Really, Stupid.

"Kelly! You just called me `stupid'! How dare you!"

I dare because you're stupid, and I love you, only you're stupid. You -- and if you're the one whose offended by this post -- I'm talking to you.

Here's the thing: we're talking about Jesus. Jesus! He' not a canapé. You got that?

How to receive the Most Holy Sacrament. (For my friends who don't get this? Here's how to receive GOD!)

I'm not going into the stuff about being in the state of grace, about being Catholic, and all that stuff the bishops have gone into over and over again.

I'm talking about bleeping common sense!

And courtesy. And faith. And knowing Whom you are exactly receiving at Communion!

Okay. Here we go. In 1969, Catholics were given the indult to receive Jesus in the hand. (Don't ask my why...google it yourself.)

If you take advantage of this indult (and interestingly enough, autocorrect keeps making it "insult" but pay no mind to that), terrific. Just do it right. Which means:

DON'T grab the Host and saunter down into wherever you're going. Accept JESUS with both hands -- one behind the other (like a throne as Saint John Chrysostom wrote) and consume the Host right then and there, facing the Holy Altar of Sacrifice. Do this so that you are SEEN doing it. Cross yourself, if you like, and return to your pew, glorifying the fact that you just received JESUS!

If you're receiving on the tongue (and good for you if you are) then for Heaven's sake, OPEN YOUR MOUTH! WELCOME Him! Don't slit your silly lips and expect the priest to play a slot machine game with you. COOPERATE!

If you know someone who doesn't know how to receive Holy Communion? Please share this. Because I'm so very tired of the abuse -- whether intentional or not -- of my Dearest Love.

One thing? He loves you far more than I do, and I love you a lot, so that means something.

Receive Jesus with all the respect and love you can muster up. I promise you. You'll be rewarded.

May God continue to bless you.