Saturday, July 25, 2020

Dearest Catholic Pastors...I humbly beg your consideration...

Saint James

Hiya, Fathers! (it is okay to still call you "Father," right?) Good.

Don't you just hate when the sheep dares to advise the shepherd? I would, in your shoes. But, alas, some of you might need it -- not you who are reading this, of course, but...maybe your brother priests? Great, okay! A few thoughts:

The Saint Michael Prayer...

...should probably be prayed at the end of every Mass you celebrate. You know why and I know why.

The Prayers of Faithful: 

Please cancel your subscription to the The New York Times Guide for Universal Prayer or wherever you get them from. You know the right way Catholics should pray at this time...just stick to it:

For the Church
For the world
For those in need
For the dead

C'mon, guys! You don't need to wax poetic about this. Our prayer should be aimed (1) First to God and (2) to the hearts of the faithful assembled. Knock of the veiled -- or sometimes even not veiled -- political commentary.

Nix the reader...

...if you can without causing a hissy fit, from leading the assembly in the Prayers of the Faithful. He or she, I promise you, will get over it. Instead? As Priest, YOU lead us in prayer!

Speaking of the Prayers of the Faithful? 

If you don't conclude them with an appeal to our Mother Mary to intercede for us, what the bleep are you doing in charge of earthly stuff, like finances??? Let's be intelligent, Fathers! Ask for the intercession of the Mother of God! onto the Pandemic Panic-Please-Don't-Panic Suggestions...


Hey...if they have to take their masks off to read the Word of God (and, if what is said is true and you must believe it because all of us pew folk have to wear masks EVEN THOUGH WE'RE SOCIALLY DISTANCING!!!... Ahem...

Make readers keep their masks on while reading If this isn't accepted (sheesh), then make them sanitize the ambo and microphone before leaving it. You want, or you want your Deacon, to breath in those germs? C'mon.

Or simply...

...put the readers on hiatus and proclaim all readings yourselves!

Holy Communion.

Okay, this is the sum and substance of why we're here. Feeding Jesus to us might be a bit of a challenge during -- sheesh -- These Challenging Times -- but it's not rocket science.

A suggestion:

Consider plexiglass Communion Stations.

My parish uses them...look them up on Google or your favorite search engine. What my parish does NOT do and I wish it did? Let the communicants return to their pews for thanksgiving and prayer, rather than place the darn things at the exit doors.

Receiving on the tongue...

I always have. I miss this. But I'm convinced that, at this point, it's not advisable. If a communicant insists, Father, you kinda have to do it. In most Dioceses, if you do so -- and you pretty much have to -- you need to sanitize your hands. This is an amazing act of mercy...and tolerance. God bless you for it!

(People who insist? Can't judge you and wouldn't presume to...still, don't judge us who have joyfully received Jesus in our hands. And maybe consider -- just consider -- the fact that you might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Who knows? Only God does.)

Your sister in Christ,