In Saint Louis, the Beautiful People joke about death

From the Saint Louis-Post Dispatch:

Archbishop Raymond Burke made it to the Fox Theatre Saturday — but only as a
punch line.

When Bob Costas, the evening's host, walked onto the stage he scanned the crowd, gazing into
the back rows of the upper balcony before breaking the prolonged silence.

"All right," Costas quipped. "I guess the archbishop is not showing up."

This is a knee-slapper? Maybe you had to be there.

Costas evidently thought it was all about him.

"Sheryl Crow made it clear that she is coming here for three reasons," Costas told the crowd.
The singer wanted to help children, put on a good show and, Costas said, "get me ex-communicated."

Excommunication jokes are always so droll, aren't they? I mean...they're so uniquely Papist!

Not to be outdone by a mere sportscaster, alleged commedian Billy Crystal got in his licks:

"I respect his right to choose," Crystal said of Burke. "His right to choose not to be here."

If there's anything funnier than an excommunication joke, it's gotta be one about abortion, right?

(Meanwhile, I'm not sure if there's any truth to the rumor that benefit attendees were allotted only one "square" per visit to the facilities.)